Seeking Solace
by Mulderette
Summary: Callen is surprised when a distraught Kamran shows up at his house unexpectedly. ***Contains major spoilers for the Season Eight finale*** This is story one in the Moving On series - Thanks to ssl71 for coming up with the series name :)


Callen was standing in front of the refrigerator, munching on a cold slice of leftover pizza, when he heard the knock on the front door. He went and grabbed his gun then cautiously walked to the door. "Who is it?" he called out.

"Uncle Callen? It's me, Kamran," the girl's small voice called back to him.

Callen sighed as he put his gun away and opened the door to find Sam's very sad appearing daughter standing there. Parked in the street, in front of his house, was a taxi cab. "I don't have any money," Kamran said, giving Callen an apologetic look.

"Be right there!" Callen called out to the driver. "Do you know how much it was?" he asked Kamran.

"I think it was thirty dollars," Kamran said as she looked at Callen anxiously, appearing to be on the verge of tears. "I'm so sorry. I'll pay you back, Uncle Callen. I promise. I didn't…I didn't think it would cost that much."

"Come on, Kam. It's nothing to get upset about. I'll be right back, okay?" Callen placed his hand on her head and gave her a reassuring smile. "It's going to be okay."

Callen went down to the street to pay the cabdriver and then headed back to the house. When he did, he was dismayed to find Kamran curled up on a chair in the living room, sobbing as if her heart was broken. "Kam? Has something happened?" he asked her, feeling a little bit panicked. "Is your dad okay?"

Kamran nodded. "Daddy's fine," she managed to get out between heaving sobs.

"And Aiden?"

"He's fine too."

Unsure of what to do for her, Callen went into the kitchen and brought her back a bottle of water from the refrigerator. He twisted the lid off and handed it to her. "Here, drink a little bit, Kam," he said softly. "It'll make you feel better."

Kamran took the bottle of water from Callen and obediently took a couple of sips. "Thank you," she said quietly.

Callen was relieved to see that Kamran appeared to be a little bit calmer. He grabbed the other chair in the living room and pulled it over to where Sam's daughter was sitting. He then sat down and contemplated the situation silently for a few moments. "You feel like talking about it?" he finally asked softly.

Kamran's eyes immediately began to well up with tears. "I…I miss my mom," she said as she once again broke into sobs.

Callen struggled to hold back his own emotions as he took the distraught child into his arms and held her. "I know you do," he said comfortingly. "I know you do…" It had only been three weeks since Michelle's tragic murder. He was still having a hard time with it himself. He could only begin to imagine how difficult it was for Sam's family. He had seen the children only rarely since the funeral and Sam hadn't talked much about what had happened. Finally, Kamran drew away from Callen and he released the grasp he had on her. "Better?" he asked.

"Yes…I'm better," she said, nodding. "I miss seeing you, Uncle Callen. No more…no more Sunday night casseroles…"

Callen took a deep breath as he tried to keep his emotions contained.

"You know what? Mom knew you didn't like them," Kamran said with a teary smile. "She and daddy thought it was funny. Sometimes she said she should make something you really liked, but daddy said for her to keep on making them, that they were good for you. I think he thought it was funnier than she did."

"Oh yeah?" Callen smiled, feeling a tad guilty that Michelle had known he hadn't liked them. With all that had happened though, he knew it was insignificant.

"My mom…she really loved you, Uncle Callen…" Kamran's lower lip was trembling, but she was managing to remain somewhat in control. "She knew you and dad took care of each other. She was glad daddy has you for a partner."

Damn. Callen looked up at the ceiling for a few moments, willing his own tears not to fall. "I…I loved your mom too," he said shakily.

"Daddy…daddy is so sad, all the time," Kamran said. "I try not to cry in front of him. I know it just makes him upset. He misses her terribly too."

"I don't think your father would want you to feel like that, Kam," Callen said. "He would want you to talk about how you're feeling."

Kamran shook her head adamantly. "No he doesn't. I know he doesn't."

"What about Aiden?" Callen asked. "Do you talk to him about any of this?"

"No," Kamran said with a sad shake of her head. "He's not home very much. He's always with his friends. I don't think he likes being home anymore…without mom… My best friend is going away for the whole summer. When I get out of school…it's going to be horrible. We…we were going to take a family vacation this summer, to the Grand Canyon. But you knew that, didn't you?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, I knew," Callen said sadly. Some days Sam had talked about it nonstop. He'd even tried to talk Callen into going with them, but Callen had felt like he'd be a third wheel and had declined the invitation.

"They wanted you to come with us, but daddy said you didn't want to. I would have liked it if you came, but…I guess we won't be going now. I don't think I care. It would just be sad anyhow…I guess everything will be sad now. I…I wish it hadn't happened, Uncle Callen. Why did those men have to be so horrible? It's not fair… She was such a good mom…and I loved her. We…we used to go shopping together for back to school clothes every summer. We would go to the mall and have lunch…it was really fun. Now…" Her tears were flowing freely once again and Callen felt tears on his own cheeks as well. He'd given up on trying to hold them back.

"I'm sure Kensi would be more than happy to take you shopping for clothes, Kam," Callen said.

Kamran nodded. "I know…Kensi said if I ever needed a woman to talk to, that I could talk to her…"

Callen nodded. He hadn't known that, but it didn't surprise him. He knew how broken up the team was about what had happened. They were a family. If something bad happened to one of them, it touched all of them. "Kensi's a good listener."

"But it won't be the same," Kamran whispered.

"No…no it won't be," Callen said, shaking his head. "But eventually, the things that are making you sad right now…you'll be able to look back on those things fondly and they'll make you happy. Your mom loved you so much, Kamran…she would want you to be happy…"

"I know… and I know you understand how I feel…because your mom died too…and you were even younger than I am…"

Callen gave the child a look of surprise. He'd certainly never spoken of his past to her. "How did you know that?" he asked softly.

"My dad told me…after your father came…I asked him about your mom."

"Oh…" He didn't really know what to say.

"Should he not have told me?" Kamran asked, looking at Callen emotionally.

"It's okay that he told you…it's not a secret…"

"You were pretty little when you lost her…"

"Yeah…I was only five…"

"Do you remember her?"

Callen shrugged. "I mostly have pictures in my mind…quick images, sometimes I hear her voice, her laugh…" He shook his head. "I don't remember very much…"

"I'm sorry you lost your mom when you were just a little boy, Uncle Callen," Kamran said, reaching for his hand and holding it in her own.

Callen nodded, feeling on the brink of tears again. "And I'm sorry about your mom, Kamran…more sorry than you could know…"

They sat in silence for a bit, each caught up in their own memories and the general sadness of the evening. Then, all of a sudden, Callen began to wonder about his partner and if he even knew Kamran was out of the house. "Kamran? Where does your dad think you are?" he asked softly.

Kamran gave Callen an obviously guilty look. "I said I was going to bed early and I snuck out the back door."

Knowing that Kamran had been able to accomplish that without detection, told Callen more than anything else about how Sam was doing. Under normal circumstances, Kamran wouldn't have made it out the door, never mind making it all the way to his house. "I need to call him."

"I know," Kamran said with a nod.

Callen pulled out his cell phone and pressed the button to dial Sam's cell phone. "Yeah G?" Sam answered almost immediately.

"Hey Sam, I just wanted to let you know that Kamran is here…"

"At your house?" Sam asked, the surprise in his voice evident. "What is she doing there?"

"It's kind of a long story. I'm going to bring her home, but I just wanted to let you know. I didn't want you to panic if you discovered she was missing."

"Are you sure? I can come and get her."

"No Sam, you sit tight. I'll have her there soon…"

xxxxx

A few minutes later, Kamran was buckled into the passenger side of Callen's car and the two were on their way.

"I'm sorry if I spoiled your evening, Uncle Callen," Kamran said.

"Don't worry about that, Kam. You didn't spoil anything," Callen assured her.

"Daddy's going to be mad at me…"

"I'll talk to your father. Don't worry, okay?"

"I shouldn't have done this," Kamran said, shaking her head slowly.

Callen sighed as he sped up a little bit. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart," he said softly. "I promise."

xxxxx

Sam had been watching for his partner and was at the door opening it before Callen and Kamran even reached it. He went to his daughter and hugged her tightly.

"I'm sorry, daddy," Kamran said, looking up at her father tearfully.

"Let's just get you inside, okay?" He turned to his partner. "Thank you for bringing her home, G…I appreciate it."

Callen nodded. "It's not a problem, Sam."

"Come on in," Sam said, beckoning his partner with his hand.

Callen followed Sam and his daughter into the house and the three of them walked into the living room. "Can I get you anything?" Sam asked Callen who shook his head.

"No, I'm good, Sam."

"Okay…have a seat."

Callen sat down on a chair while Sam and his daughter sat on the sofa.

"So…" Sam looked at his partner and then at his daughter in turn. "Who wants to tell me what this was about?"

Callen sat back, deciding to give Kamran the chance to tell her own story, which she did after a brief hesitation. "I…I was really sad…about mom…I needed to talk to somebody…"

Sam looked at Kamran with a mixture of compassion and concern. "I don't understand, angel…why couldn't you come to me?"

Kamran didn't answer him. She just hung her head and started to quietly sob.

Sam stared at her helplessly then looked at his partner pleadingly. "Kam didn't want to upset you, Sam," Callen said gently. "She thinks you don't want to talk about Michelle."

Sam swallowed hard and turned back to his daughter. "You could have come to me, baby girl…you can always come to me…"

Kamran shook her head. "I…I know how sad you are, daddy…I…I didn't want to make you sadder…"

"Nothing is more important to me than you and Aiden. You're my children. If you're in pain, Kamran, I want to know."

Kamran nodded woefully and then went into her father's arms and sobbed into his chest. "I miss mommy so much, daddy…I…I still can't believe she's gone…I want her back…"

"I know you miss her, Kam," Sam said, his own tears falling fast and furiously. "I miss her too, and we can talk about her…any time you want. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you couldn't."

"I love you daddy."

"I love you too, angel…"

Finally, father and daughter cried themselves out and then separated. "It's late," Sam said softly. "You have school tomorrow. You'd better get to bed. Are you okay now?"

Kamran nodded. "I'm better. Good night, daddy."

"Good night, honey."

Kamran got up from the sofa and went to Callen then hugged him tightly. "Good night, Uncle Callen… Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Callen said. "You know I'll always be there for you, if you need me."

Kamran nodded and smiled sweetly at Callen. "I do know that because you're our family."

Callen nodded. "And you're mine."

"Good night." She waved at the two men and headed off to her bedroom.

"I don't know how to thank you, G," Sam said, turning to his partner. "How did she even get to your house?"

"Taxi," Callen said with a smirk.

"Oh man…Can't believe she did that. What do I owe you?"

Callen shook his head. "Forget it, Sam. You know I'd do anything for your kids…and for you…"

Sam nodded. "I know, G…"

"Do you, Sam?" Callen asked softly, "Because I kind of feel like you've been putting distance between us these days. We both know I'm not really the talker in our partnership, but lately I feel like I am. Not that I'm complaining, I'm not. But, if you do want to talk…about anything…I'm here for you, big guy."

"I know you are, G…and when I'm ready…you'll be the first one I go to…"

Callen nodded. He wasn't going to push. He, of all people, knew what it was like to be pushed when you didn't want to talk. He wasn't going to do that to Sam. "I'm going to head out," he said as he got up from the sofa. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Sam got up and walked to the front door with Callen before he pulled him into a hug. "Thanks again, G. I'm glad my daughter felt able to go to you with this. Good night."

"Good night, Sam," Callen smiled at his partner and headed out to his car. He knew it would take time for Sam and his family to heal, but he felt strongly that they'd get through what had happened and he would do everything in his power to help them.


End file.
